Nikki Glaser basked in her 2025 Golden Globes hosting glory with Howard Stern on Monday and revealed a few jokes that were left behind on the cutting-room floor.
Glaser, 40, told Stern that “every joke was memorized” from her opening monologue, where she celebrated “Ozempic’s biggest night,” before riffing on Ben Affleck and Sean “Diddy” Combs.
The comedian, known for recently roasting Tom Brady, admitted she was afraid of getting “canceled” for some of the content written for the awards show and instead opted to tell Stern the jokes.
GOLDEN GLOBES HOST NIKKI GLASER MOCKS DIDDY, BEN AFFLECK IN OPENING MONOLOGUE
“I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you what jokes you left out of your monologue last night. I’m always curious about that process,” Stern said. “So, there were jokes that you liked, but you couldn’t fit them in or, for some reason, you avoided doing them. Do you have a couple of examples?”
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“Yeah, I have a lot of examples, but feel free to cut me off whenever,” Glaser said.
“I put together a little mini setlist for you because, yeah, some of these are just like, they were in the writers’ room. They would get pitched and were like, ‘We can’t say that on TV. We cannot say that to these people’s faces.’ So I’d go, ‘Move it to the Stern file. We can do it on Stern.’”
The 57-year-old actress, who was nominated for a Golden Globe for her role in “Babygirl,” had a joke about her that got nixed, according to Glaser. “This one … we shot it for a promo, and they almost aired it on CBS, and then we were like, that will get me canceled,” Glaser confessed.
“‘The Wild Robot’ is nominated tonight, and by that I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines.”
Glaser also admitted, “I wish we would have done that, but if she makes a face … I think she would have been cool with it, but you never know.”
Baldwin, 66, was not in attendance at the 82nd Golden Globe Awards, but there was a joke about him that also got axed.
“Michael Keaton was so great in ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.’ And Alec Baldwin sadly did not come back to play a ghost because he was too busy making them.”
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Cage, a multiple Golden Globe Award winner, presented the best picture – musical/comedy award on Sunday and could have been on the receiving end of Glaser’s jokes.
“Nicolas Cage is here tonight looking well-rested after a night of sleeping in Elvis’ coffin.”
“Nicolas Cage is here and so is the band of skeletons that follows him playing ragtime jazz.”
Shepard, 50, joined his wife, Kristen Bell, at the 2025 Golden Globes and avoided a joke about his celebrity-filled podcast.
“The Golden Globes is the only show where you can see the biggest stars in movies and television join together with the same goal: Getting out here tonight before Dax Shepard asks them to do his podcast.”
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Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs was not in attendance at the awards show and is currently incarcerated in Brooklyn on felony racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution charges.
“This is the last time that all of you will be in the same room together before the Diddy trial.”
Stern asked, “Why didn’t you use that joke?”
“We had another Diddy mention that worked better and led us to other jokes. You only get one Diddy mention,” Glaser said. “That one you don’t want to do because you’re accusing the people in the room of being involved in that, and they might turn on you about that.”
Martin Short, Steve Martin and Selena Gomez were each nominated for Golden Globe Awards at Sunday’s ceremony. Martin and Short, as well as their co-star Meryl Streep, could have been teased, but the joke was left out of Glaser’s monologue.
“‘Only Murders in the Building’ is amazing, and I think it’s so cool that legends like Steve Martin, Martin Short and Meryl Streep are still at it, putting out some of the best performances of their careers. It’s so inspiring, and it just goes to show you that you’re never too old to still need money. Guys, please don’t fight Jake Paul. Please don’t do it. Why are you still working so hard? Did you get caught up in the Hawk Tuah crypto scheme?”
